Category Archives: Life Snippets

Fly Paper

It’s not that
I hate flies
but the buzz
madness seals
their fate
buzzin’ loud
around the ears
never ingratiates anyone
but there is paper

alone for that

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Still mainly a break from my bloggin’ rest thought I may post at least one or two a month, if only to sate the posting itch 🙂

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Life Snippets 21

Dub step dancing

So I tried dubstep
dance
not unlike body popping
from my youth
old school
hip hop

in the morning
it hit me
like lightning up my leg
I’m not 25 anymore
Ouch, cramp

Poetry Clown

It is to
youtube
a poetry clown
flees to breathe
looking for the
quirky
remixes
and visual comedy

Out takes

Twatch gilly mog

What ?

twang dilly twan

take two

tas crap twas

take three

twas on the night
t’with
‘CUT’
Smok break (oops)

My tongue is so tied I’ve invented a new knot

Life Snippets 20

 Audit

I have done an
audit
and by my
reckoning

I am owed
365 days
of happiness
and a better job
God, cough it up
an audit can’t be wrong

Just my luck

Having not taken
my own advice
I didn’t turn the phone off
worse, I picked it up
graveyard shift
arse!!

Murphy’s law

Yes you
I’m caught
in your serendipity
but in reverse

yes you
Murphy
Get thee gone
like Lucifer

Out to lunch

why am I not
out to lunch
or broken down
well, there’s still
remix and negotiation

Well there is always
bacon sandwiches
life’s much better
with those

Life snippets 19

English

A true Englishman
is never alone
when there is
nothing else around
to take the mick out of
he will still laugh
at himself

Scotland

If Scotland
leaves the union
what will happen
to the flag
will we simply
call it the jack
or will it just be
cross

The Jack

One does not
really care which
way you hang it

but beware
on the wrong
way, people
may ask

‘Are you in trouble?’

Equality and Diversity

These two words
allow me
to take the mick out of everyone
I start with myself
then just work outwards

Apologies

well smut maybe
rhetorical
or implied

a double entendre
to which you
decide

Sex

Like riding a bicycle
both
with suspension
or a minor puncture

Either way a pump
is required

Life snippets 18

YEOVIL

If you take the YO
out of Yeovil
you are left with only
EVIL

Home town

I can never work out
If I love to hate
this place

Or I would
hate to love it

F word

For a man who
does not swear on paper
that much
I have used up
a three month
quota

In just one post

Drugs

I don’t do drugs

Apart
From coffee
nicotine, alcohol
like beer, Whiskey, wine

But that’s fine I gave up beer
now whiskeys gone
that counts for lent
right

For over forty days
and Forty nights
That’s a long drought

Life Snippets 17

One’s own words

When deleting
the Wrong hard drive
one is glad one’s
own words cannot
bite me in the arse

Backups

It takes a really
long time to restore
a backup, but
starting from
scratch would be
really really
annoying

Living room

We have a living room?
Oh so we do!
or sometimes it is
a language room
where a less reclusive
me, sits and rolls one’s
eyes at a 32 letter
alphabet,
or watches Ireland get
Smashed

Television

I have watched more
TV and Football
this week, than
the entire year

Who’s there for the Tele

~~~~~~~~

All written in the time of Euro 2012, which is one of the few times I entertain watching football.

Life snippets 16

 
Supervisor
 
Bruce
when coaching
 
It may be wise
to tone
down the
 
Sarcasm
 
Sarcasm and Scorn
 
One will
remember that
 
but the recipient
does not have
the Intelligence
To know
how deep
I meant to cut
 
However
the Supervisor does
 
Polish
 
One
learns that
male And female
devices, are to be used!
Groan
 
Back to a childhood
of French
lessons
 
But at least
one does not
live
with French
teachers

Life snippets 15

 
Doppler Effect
 
As you come closer
I hear you
whining, more
 
as I walk away
un-amused
I hear your
 
Inward
groan
 
Rain
 
Some say, it always
rains in England
I say that’s untrue but there is
always the promise
 
Butterfly Effect
 
has absolutely nothing,
nothing to do with wild life
 
but I don’t do maths!
 
Or have I made a mistake
 
Elephant Effect
 
The biggest
Effect, of stampeding
Elephants
 
Would be
 
Of me
 
running and screaming,
 
But luckily its all a bad dream

Life snippets extra

 
Hangovers
 
the reduction of wit
is directly proportional
to the amount of beer
consumed
 
If whiskey was drunk
I would have none
shhhhhhhhhh!
 
Drunkenness
 
In drunken conversation
I was trying to explain
the evils of the English language
with a Polish girl
 
If Cesar
uses scissors
we may get
snowy blizzards
 
But I said like this (on beer three, while trying to get photos off her phone)
If Ce(sor)
uses a scis(sors)
we may get
a snowy blizz(ords)
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Pretty much given up beer now and moved 🙂 part of me misses the beer. But now I am not keen on the taste.