How I became a stereotype and my father

I have been wanting to make this post
for two weeks or more now, I am not a perfect person
that much is for sure. I am a heavy drinker
now let’s get one thing straight I am not a violent drinker
the love of my life will back me up on that.
but I have been violent in the past and that is a guilt I will always carry always.
Right the year is 2003 and I am at the end of the worse relationship ever
I have become my Father and I lash out in every argument  me and my partner have
it is a huge personality clash and I have no way to deal with it
yeah I have had failed relationships over the years but this is like a war zone
I have survived the mental onslaught that was my father belittling me for years
but now I am him lashing out at will, I have two kids and I am very unhappy
I have spent at least £1000 pounds plus over 6 years on Windows and other stuff I had to break
just to end the fighting, one thing about me if I get angry leave me the Feck alone – do not follow me around like a lost sheep continually fueling a fight that should have been over half an hour ago
Do not accuse me of sleeping with every female I said hello to at work, within 30 seconds of walking in to a staff social event – that shit is just unnecessary.
anyway late 2003 my  relationship finally goes into coma and I decide to pack my shit up and leave

I ended up in my employers car park, rough night.

Maybe more on this later, tis a boring life anyway

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18 thoughts on “How I became a stereotype and my father”

  1. And here I was just expecting to see a delicious bit of poetry, and this is what I get instead. I am not complaining, just a bit taken aback, but I greatly respect what you’ve put out here and how uncovered it is. This is brave; I am not like this, I realize.

      1. Okay. But I liked this post, raw and all. I often think that people’s personal posts of the more honest type are actually stories just two corners away from being spun into fiction. You have quite a story Bruce.

      2. Well I might finish this part next week it would be nice to have a little space between this type of post

  2. Bruce,
    My dear friend… so much love for you (I’d be so creeped out if a clown would tell me something like that…). You’re doing something beautiful for yourself right now. And you have a great (and loving) support net. Live what you need to, and don’t hesitate to write me if needed.
    Le Clown

  3. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s impossible for poets not to bare their souls in their writings…sharing it, however, is a giant leap. Kudos to you. And, on a less serious note, can I just say how much I love Le Clown?

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