Roger – when Science fiction characters go bad

Roger sat with his laser pistol ready, awaiting the trap to be sprung.

Roger: “why did you call me Roger that’s a terrible name for a science fiction character”

Author: “whoa hang on a min, am I having a psychotic episode as a fictitious character  is not meant to be addressing the author direct”

Roger: “well you should have given me a cooler name then, and laser pistol really!! couldn’t think anything more original, come on you have read the man in the high castle right?”

Author: “Well I was thinking of asking you to reverse the polarity of something in about 6 pages time, but guessing your current mood I think you will more than likely have a head fit”

Roger: ” Damn straight that really is some science fiction dumb shit, have you ever tried reversing the polarity on anything mainly it either it breaks or just stops working till you put it right, what is this a star trek parody”

Author:” be Jesus at least when I once did a short story with DNA modified mice that actually did what I wanted and no back chat”

Roger:” Did you give them cool names?”

Author:”hmm yes I did Roger – sorry”

Roger:” rest my case”

Author:” Ok what if we call you Brett Roger and give you a cool silver robot”

Roger:”are you shitting me dude to 80’s, I mean come on”

and then the trap was sprung, Harold fell into to ….

Harold” Oi do you really think I would be so dumb I anticipated this and came from the side, thus countering this trap with my own”

Author:”Is anyone going to comply with me today, I am trying to write a science fiction short story for feck sake I am sure Susan Daniels does not have this problem or Trent Lewin, well actually Trent might have had this problem, the point is this It is meant to be my story and no one will comply”

Harold:” well I am not keen on the name Harold either”

Author:” For the love of god not you as well, maybe I should have stuck to writing poetry they rearly bite back. What’s wrong with Harold prey tell?”

Harold:” Well it is even lamer than Roger”

Roger” Hey, feck you H boy”

Author:” Jesus H Christ are you two sure  I am not having a psychotic episode, cos it sure is starting to feel like it”

Twint: ” As your resident AI I feel I don’t not have enough evidence to provide a prognoses”

Author:”Who the hell are you, I don’t remember thinking about writing a AI Cyborg into this almost story, but I guess your name is a little cooler than the other two”

Twint: “Well some of the best stories have them”

Roger, Harold:” We are still here you know” (said in unison)

Author:”Yes and still moaning  and this is why I don’t usually write short stories I always lose control”

Mr Theo:” Well I got a cool name at least”

Author:” Right!!!! that’s it I quit if you characters keep on inventing yourselves how in the heck can I keep up, I am leaving you on word press so you can just write your own science fiction story”


16 thoughts on “Roger – when Science fiction characters go bad”

  1. Bruce, I laughed hard enough to have to put down my tea. Fantastic dialogue, and wonderfully twisted. I think you have a gift for the short story, and for making me laugh. I quite like this side of your creative grandness.

  2. And oh yeah, my characters always argue with me, usually via the monkey. I doubt Susan has this problem, because I’m convinced that she is actually a poetry-writing cyborg machine.

  3. Bruce, this was wonderful! Loved every minute of it. Let’s see–my characters routinely argue with me, except the trinity character I did–I cannot argue with God and let them have their way entirely too much. That is probably why I stick to poetry more often than not, as there are no characters to argue with their creators, usually.

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