BEASLEY STREET – JOHN COOPER CLARKE

As we have been having a punk theme going on here thought I would post this by John Cooper Clarke, punk poet and bard of Salford

“BEASLEY STREET” – JOHN COOPER CLARKE

FAR FROM CRAZY PAVEMENTS

…THE TASTE OF SILVER SPOONS

A CLINICAL ARRANGEMENT

…ON A DIRTY AFTERNOON

WHERE THE FECAL GERMS OF MR. FREUD

…ARE RENDERED OBSOLETE

THE LEGAL TERM IS NULL AND VOID

IN THE CASE OF… BEASLEY STREET WHERE MURDER BRON THE EDGE OF BEASLEY STREET
WHERE THE ACTION ISN’T

THAT’S WHERE IT IS

STATE YOUR POSITION

VACANCIES EXIST

IN AN X-CERTIFICATE EXERCISE

EX-SERVICEMEN EXCRETE

KEITH JOSEPH SMILES AND A BABY DIES

IN A BOX ON BEASLEY STREET

 

FROM THE BOARDING HOUSES AND THE BEDSITS FULL OF

…ACCIDENTS AND FLEAS

SOMEBODY GETS IT

WHERE THE MISSING PERSONS FREEZE

WEARING DEAD MEN’S OVERCOATS

YOU CAN’T SEE THEIR FEET

A RIFF JOINT SHUTS – OPENS UP

RIGHT DOWN ON BEASLEY STREET

CARS COLLIDE, COLOURS CLASH

DISASTER MOVIE STUFF

FOR A MAN WITH THE FU MANCHU MOUSTACHE

REVENGE IS NOT ENOUGH

THERE’S A DEAD CANARY ON A SWIVEL SEAT

THERE’S A RAINBOW IN THE ROAD

MEANWHILE ON BEASLEY STREET

SILENCE IS THE CODE

 

HOT BENEATH THE COLLAR

…AN INSPECTOR CALLS

WHERE THE PERISHING STINK OF SQUALOR

…IMPREGNATES THE WALLS

THE RATS HAVE ALL GOT RICKETS

THEY SPIT THROUGH BROKEN TEETH

THE NAME OF THE GAME IS NOT CRICKET

CAUGHT OUT ON …BEASLEY STREET

THE HIPSTER AND HIS HIRED HAT

DRIVE A BORROWED CAR

YELLOW SOCKS AND A PINK CREVAT

NOTHING LA-DI-DAH

O-A-P

MOTHER-TO-BE

WATCH THE THREE-PIECE SUITE

WHEN SHITSTOPPER DRAINS

AND CROCODILE SKIS

ARE SEEN ON …BEASLEY STREET

 

THE KINGDOM OF THE BLIND

…A ONE-EYED MAN IS KING

BEAUTY PROBLEMS ARE REDEFINED

…THE DOORBELLS DO NOT RING

A LIGHT BULB BURST LIKE A BLISTER

THE ONLY FORM OF HEAT

WHERE A FELLOW SELLS HIS SISTER

…DOWN THE RIVER ON BEASLEY STREET

THE BOYS ARE ON THE WAGON

THE GIRLS ARE ON THE SHELF

THEIR COMMON PROBLEM IS

…THAT THEY’RE NOT SOMEONE ELSE

THE DIRT BLOWS OUT

THE DUST BLOWS IN

YOU CAN’T KEEP IT NEAT

IT’S A FULLY FURNISHED DUSTBIN

…SIXTEEN BEASLEY STREET

 

VINCE THE AGEING SAVAGE

BETRAYS NO KIND OF LIFE

…BUT THE SMELL OF YESTERDAY’S CABBAGE

AND THE GHOST OF LAST YEAR’S WIFE

THROUGH A CONSTANT HAZE

OF DEODORANT SPRAYS

HE SAYS …RETREAT

ALSATIANS DOG THE DIRTY DAYS

DOWN THE MIDDLE OF BEASLEY STREET

PEOPLE TURN TO POISON

QUICK AS LAGER TURNS TO PISS

SWEETHEARTS ARE PHYSICALLY SICK

EVERY TIME THEY KISS

IT’S A SOCIOLOGIST’S PARADISE

EACH DAY REPEATS

UNEASY, CHEASY, GREASY, QUEASY

…BEASTLY, BEASLEY STREET

 

EYES DEAD AS VICIOUS FISH

LOOK AROUND FOR LAUGHS

IF I COULD HAVE JUST ONE WISH

I WOULD BE A PHOTOGRAPH

ON A PERMANENT MONDAY MORNING

GET LOST OR FALL ASLEEP

WHEN THE YELLOW CATS ARE YAWNING

AROUND THE BACK OF BEASLEY STREET

LYRICS © JOHN COOPER CLARKE

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14 thoughts on “BEASLEY STREET – JOHN COOPER CLARKE”

      1. Damn… somebody said it before I did! I’ve been sitting listening to it, imagining Bob Dylan’s voice in lines like ‘The hipster and his hired hat / drive a borrowed car…”

  1. Now my own comment: I love JCC, one of the few modern poets who can get away with rhyme, who gets round dodgy prosody by interjecting syllables of gum-chewing, who made the concept of ‘open mic’ into an offensive weapon, who writes brilliant lines like “People turn to poison / quick as lager turns to piss…”

    He should stand next to Alexei Sayle and mime binary maths.

    M

    1. Liking your comments. I would imagine a kind of electric response in the crowd when he fires off his words at 200 miles an hour, which isn’t easy I have tried with chicken town. I was going to see him at Bristol(I think) but in the end I was broke so missed out

      1. I only have one criticism of him, and that is his revisions. He tinkered with ‘I Married a Monster from Outer Space’ and the tinkering wasn’t a success, spoilt the directness. The best version is on the ‘Short Circuit / Live at the Electric Circus’ compilation.

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